Fuck you. Unfuck you, whichever offends you more.

I'm just sitting here.
Deciding to not care, or to hope.
I choose hope.
We'll see.
Are you with me?

Life is good. I feel like if I accept all the factors I need are perfectly in place that things will be taken away. I never expected shit to work out so well...and I feel like if I acknowledge things aren't going to blow up in my face, shit'll start going south.

hmmm.
life prove me wrong okay, stay good regardless of time and distance and what not

Yesterday, or actually quite early this morning, I talked to three very different people.
The first a cynic boy.
The second a girl who desperately wants to change.
The third a girl who wishes not to be forgotten.

They all lead the same life in my opinion. The second girl was a cynical person, she had a major 'who gives a fuck' personality. But then she began to care about everything. She wants to love and be loved. But people can't see her, but for her mistakes. The third girl, well she is cynical and wants to change, but she only wishes to change so others will love her. See, she loves everyone much to freely and has no guard for herself. In my eyes it is a sort of pretend love because she doesn't trust others. How can you love without trust?
The first boy cannot love with out trust. His love life is a paradox. He is guarded with himself and his emmotions and comes off as not giving a fuck.
And then there's me. Haha I just love everyone, I love my few closer than others, but I trust easily and take words at face value. Does that make me weaker or stronger?

It is hard to change, to let people into your life and heart, admit to things that are strange about yourself. Your imperfections. People will love you for it . The beauty and normalcy occupy a very thin band. Imperfection and ugliness have infinite variation and in my eyes are the true beauty.

"Inside every cynical person, there is a disapointed idealist" -George Carlin.

Well pull your panties up, and learn to love. Seriously. The world is not forever against you, if you put it out there it WILL be acknowledged. Everyone these days likes to pretend the are uninvolved and uncaring and nothing bother them, and "oh, they didn't notice." Well I notice everything. So either I am alone in my observation or everyone is pretending so they don't get hurt.
Get hurt.
Life is worth living, the hurt is worth feeling, if love can be felt too.
And if you try to change and someone has the audacity to point a finger, remind them, "hey asshole, you haven't lived my life!"
Caring does not make you a door mat. It gives you more of a propensity to love and be loved.
You know what?
EVERYONE NEEDS TO JUST START CARING PLEASE!

WE make eachother into cynics.
An attitude of scornful or jaded negativity.
a contemptuous mistrust of human nature?
Lighten the fuck up people!
Mean it when you say "I love you"
Believe it when people tell you they love you.

It is better to be disapointed by a few people than to mistrust the world.

I was born in Quebec, Canada and I am a Canadian citizen. The Canadian government subsidizes colleges. Auspiciously, as I am a citizen I can get to go to a school similar to Harvard, and pay the same amount I would for quadC. I want to study at McGill University and live in a loft. I am going to paint every inch of my home in my own semblance of muraling. I am going to drink my orange juice out of wine glasses and be happy.


Quench my soul. I can contribute as much as possible for others to drink. Allow me to drink from you. “if you got no water how you gonna survive?” This is so symbolic to me. If you have no value, no substance to your person, you are the offscouring of humanity. Stunning centerfold outsides, bare insides. You have nothing inside, you will be left behind, stripped of nothing to parrot, the scrivener dies, wastes away to the machine. The person is virginal and ready for manipulation. See as humans we are born with a natural inclination to be in servitude to others and the need for particular emotions, and a need for this servitude to be reciprocated. But the apple cart is poisoned when a uniformly casuistic, corrupt, selfish mercenary-type person comes along. They realize what emotions to feign and how to practice them meticulously in a form of manipulation to suit themselves.


I have an odd view on achievement, but I believe if you are inherently successful at something the gain is not as great as someone who had to work very hard to be where they are. Humor, is defined in the satire of having so many gifts, and not the slightest idea of where to apply them, and lack of application leads to seeing the triviality of each gift.


Everyone is equal whether they are Black, White, Middle Eastern, or gay. Americans do not truly have only one ‘revailing race’ per say, but a mixture. So we should all behave accordingly.


When life fails you, find a new way. We are resilient. You have power in your bones. You have the freedom to choose to be free. Educate yourself. Love recurrently, contribute to the world. Never let you heart or spirit or heart become to eradicated. Hell, if it’s that bad, pop a bottle or light up, but do something constructive. The aptitude is in your hands. Make up your mind, stick to your guns and be someone.

for the people to say
that we don't wanna fight no more
they'll be no more wars
and our children will play

I’ve figured it out.
I’ve found my way.
Rachael.